New Years Resolution: Go to the Gym More Often

New Years Resolution:
Go to the Gym More Often

Today, when I entered the
gym I saw a ton of men
and women red-faced
and huffing and puffing
like the steam
engines of
the early industrial
revolution. THeir
lips were pursed
and some were lipping
motivational speeches
like “I think
I can.” and “I will
be thinner.”

I just walked past
them, rubbed
my sagging gut, and followed
my nose to the juice
bar.

As I expected
today was Pizza day,

“pepperoni, thanks.”

I sat down and
watched all the huffers
and puffers wipe down
their faces with towels
and move to other machines,

I then went up for
seconds and they all just
stared at me (in jealousy
I presumed) and
when I was finished
I took my towel
and wipe off my face
and walked towards
the calendar; tomorrow will be
bagel day.

good day, good day…
maybe I’ll bring my own
jelly just in
case.

Hmmm, I don’t know
what my friends were saying, but
this resolution will
be a lot
easier than
I thought.