She had tears flowing down her
face dripping off her chin splashing
as little droplets on to the floor.
I sat next to her in the pew in silence
I really wasn’t sure if she wanted to
be alone—we all
deal with death
Her head fell into her
cupped hands as she
took a deep breath
and heavily sobbed.
“Are you okay?” She didn’t say anything.
It was a dumb question, I know.
She just leaned in against my side, and
I put my arm around her.
I looked up to a statue of Christ
mounted above the casket. His head was tilted
towards us crowned with crown of thorns. I looked into
his eyes, but today he gave no answers. He just looked on.
We all deal with death differently.
“I guess it just happened.” It was the wrong thing to say,
but it’s all I could say. I took slight comfort
in randomness instead of thinking
death as planned or with reason. I listened to her
sobs—I felt helpless for myself
and my ability to comfort her and
for the long, long days ahead.
We sat in the pews for a while until
her uncle came up to me, placing
his hand on my shoulder.
“It’s time,” he said gently.
as he turned around and
went back to the lobby.
I lifted my arm from around her and
and I stopped myself from asking
if she was ready—
she never was going to be ready.
“How do I look?” the little makeup
she wore was slightly running, her hair
was a bit tattered, and her expression
weary and lost. But there were her eyes
They looked deep within me in search
for some sort of hope or comfort—
“you know, you eyes are beautiful when you cry?”
A dumb thing to say, I know, but I didn’t know
what to say so I just said the truth.
She feigned a smile and a faint laugh,
“well, at least we have that.”
We both stood up and headed for the lobby
to be with the rest of her family.
“It’s going to be a very long day.”
“I know, and I’ll be here for you if you need me.”
“Thanks,” she said giving me a slight hug from the side
tearing up once again.
I embraced her and we stood there
for a short moment that
felt faintly like an eternity but
then quickly faded back
She took in a deep breath
as I opened up